Are You a Victim Of Passive Aggressive Gaslighting

What is gaslighting?

In short, gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional manipulation that often results in the recipient doubting their perception of reality and their sanity.

Gaslighting, whether intentional or not, is a form of manipulation. Gaslighting can happen in many types of relationships, including those with bosses, friends, and parents. But one of the most devastating forms of gaslighting is when it occurs in a relationship between a couple.

What does gaslighting feel like?

• Constantly feeling confused or like you’re going crazy

• Frequently doubting yourself (e.g. “am I too emotional?” “did this actually happen?”)

• Having difficulty trusting yourself and other people

• Constantly assuming you did something wrong (feeling it’s always your fault or that you’re to blame)

• Feeling the need to apologize (leading to over apologizing)

• Making excuses for other people’s actions (or rationalizing why they did something that hurt you)

• Feeling like you have to prove everything

• Feeling like you constantly have to back up your reasoning/views of things with an abundance of facts

• Sensing something is wrong, but feeling like you’re not able to “put your finger on it”

• Regularly feeling misunderstood and alone

What does gaslighting sound like?

• “You’re so dramatic”

• “You’re too sensitive”

• “You’re too emotional”

• “You’re imagining things”

• “You know you sound insane right now, right?”

• “You’re always making stuff up”

• “You’re making a big deal out of nothing, like always”

• “Nothing you’re saying makes sense, do you even hear yourself?”

• “You’re being paranoid”

• “You’re acting crazy” or “you’re overreacting”

• “I was joking! You take everything personally”

• “That never even happened.” “This is what happened…” or “this is what I said…”

• “Why should I believe you? Everyone knows you’re full of it”

• “You’re not thinking clearly”

• “You’re making yourself the victim when I’m the one who should be mad”

Gaining awareness of this type of psychological abuse is a crucial element of healing and moving forward. Being able to discern or recognize that someone is doing this to you is an important first step.

Victims of Gaslighting often try to discuss incidents with their abuser to help resolve issues sometimes only in the hopes of avoiding the same hurt, explosion, or confusion in the future, though he will still deny it ever happened, with an accusatory comment like: What are you talking about? I don’t have to listen to this! Thus, eventually a Gaslighting abuser wins the ultimate war, the final argument, when the victim begins to collapse mentally and emotionally.

The worst Gaslighting abusers will then mock her, humiliate her by sharing her “wrongdoings” (of searching for a solution) with their mutual friends, hoping to garner a sympathic response from them. Perhaps it better eases his conscious to have others tell him it is all her or just a nag. Hell, she’s not worth the effort it takes him to keep on living with her!

If you are a victim of Gaslighting, hang in there. Recognizing that it is emotional abuse is a very big step. Trust your “gut instincts.”