Embracing What Makes You Different

We are now moving into a new decade where we have to begin to embrace what makes us different instead of fitting in to get along.

Gone are the days when you just show up and you do average work in an average time. Companies, businesses and organisations want people who embrace what makes them different so that they can make a difference. You don’t make a difference by doing more of the same.

1. See it as an opportunity to teach others.

Look for the ways adversity unlocks your greatest assets. Use whatever is different (or, as I like to call it, rocking) about you to teach others.

Sometimes people just don’t realize, or are ignorant to things they don’t know much about. Once people know, they tend to change their tune. They become supportive because they have more of an understanding. People are just scared of what they don’t know, so inform them.

2. Figure out what’s unique about you

When you’re focused on conforming to the expectations of others in order to please, you lose sight of your own values and what’s unique about you. be-your-authentic-self

This is the hardest step because the harsh reality is that most of us don’t truly love or fully accept who we are.

We spend most of our time and money trying to mold ourselves to conform to the expectations of our culture.

We’re exposed to hundreds of ads a day tell us we’re too old, too fat, too skinny, too loud, too quiet, too black, too white, too aggressive, too sensitive.

And the list can go on and on. But if you’re going to embrace your own path, you must be willing to fully embrace all of who you are.

This includes all your perceived faults and imperfections.

Grab a pen and paper and write down as many attributes about yourself as you can – especially the ones for which you were criticised the most. These are the attributes that make you unique.

3. Let go the values and expectations of others

You may be walking the path of another person without even knowing it. You may have unconsciously internalised the desires of parent, someone you admire, or the culture in general.

These unconscious expectations can become so deeply buried in the psyche, that they become totally hidden from our view.

Once you begin the process of fully embracing yourself, you’ll begin to realise that you may have been on somebody else’s path for years, even decades. This may trigger feelings of intense anger, bitterness, discouragement, even hopelessness. But know that this awakening is truly a reason to celebrate.

It means that you now have the opportunity course correct and get back on your own life path.

You’re now ready to begin the process of letting go the expectations of others.

To do this, you must first become fully aware of the invisible scripts of others that have controlled your past choices.

Write down as many of your personal values and expectations as you possibly can.

Write the first things that come to mind. Resist the urge to filter or edit.

Slowly review each written expectation. As you do this, you’ll immediately be able to identify which expectations came from others and which ones are authentically you. You may try to second guess your gut emotions but your gut won’t lie to you.let-go-of-expectations

Gently cross off the expectations you’ve identified as “other” and let them go.

How do you do this? By deciding to no longer be controlled by these expectations, by accepting that you cannot please everyone – even those you love, and by choosing to live by your own values and expectations.

4. Worry less about what others think of you

The truth is that we are social beings to our core. And being highly social is the one evolutionary trait that caused us to be the most successful species on the planet.

But being social has a few drawbacks too. One of them is our tendency to worry incessantly about what others think of us. It makes sense.

If you can work through the difficult emotions when you feel rejected for being yourself, you’ll find that you have others who support you, and share in your vision for yourself.

As you continue to walk your own path, you’ll learn to stop fixating on the opinions of others. You’ll stop trying to read their minds and project your own fears and thoughts on them.

Because whatever thoughts others may have about you, they do not belong to you. Let them go. You already have way enough on your plate.

So how do you curb your natural instinct to compare?

Don’t try to fight it outright because you’ll lose. Instead, when feelings of inadequacy and jealousy start to arise in you as you compare, turn these feelings into admiration and gratitude.

Celebrate their successes and express gratitude for the ways their accomplishments can inspire you to embrace your own unique path to your own version of success.

Don’t let your comparing allow others to define success for you. Let it propel you to finally define and pursue your very own success.

Be authentic

There are so many people in the world who settle for a life of conforming. It’s so incredibly seductive because it feels safer to go with the herd.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” -Dr. Seuss