Queen RIRI sets the standard!

On the thirtieth of January, a group of men, and women gathered in a Twitter space to cry over what they considered a huge loss. The loss was in form of their significantly low chances of ever become Rihanna’s lover becoming even lower due to her relationship and recently unveiled pregnancy with Asap Rocky. Well, to be fair, Rihanna is a stunning beauty in all levels. From her body to her face and all the way to the beauty designing beauty brain which conceived, created and had nursed Fenty to this point. And that’s if we are not counting the fact that she is a multimillionaire in American dollars.

When we take a closer look at Rihanna’s story however, it becomes more intricately, the story of women, rather than the story of one woman. The details of how she met ASAP is not our concern… (we hate him for being the man that steals her from the rest of us )no matter what that story is. What matters now is the fact that women and girls of color see what is possible when they take charge of their lives. They can see what they can achieve when they decide to wait for themselves. One of the little known facts of womanhood is that women hold most, if not all the cards in heterosexual relationships. Because it isn’t sexual intercourse itself that creates a financial, political, social and economic drawback for women folks. , nor is it the relationships we have with male partners themselves. Rather, it is our ability to make reproductive choices. This is a good time for our darling RiRi to have babies, not just because she is rich or accomplished. She has been rich and accomplished on a level that most humans will never be on for years. This is the good time for her to have a baby because this is the time that she has decided that it serves her purposes. Not her partner’s, not her parents, definitely not the society's. This was all Ri. And while many may not immediately see how this is relevant, it may make better sense when we realize that the financial and social mobility of women is so much easier when they do not have children. Opportunities are more easily pursued, risks are more easily taken and perhaps most importantly, the woman has time to actually get matured enough to do things on her own terms. They say that girls mature faster than boys. but somehow, it appears girls find their voices much later than boys. Rihanna’s pregnancy is a joyous thing, not just because of the idea that we are about to live in the same timeframe with a Minnie RiRi (which is reall chill to be honest), but also because it reminds us of the falsehood that a lot of misogynistic narratives have peddled and controlled women with for years. That at the clock of 30, it becomes significantly more difficult for women to get pregnant (just because of age). This is a narrative that has been used to control how women view and handle reproduction and marriage for years. The fear that somehow, our eggs are aging, our bodies would not be able to carry a pregnancy because we become geriatric at “35”, In spite of many studies that prove otherwise and many experts debunking this age long manipulation tool.

Rihanna’s baby is our little bundle of joy, even to the humans all over the world who fantasized about being her one true love (yours truly is guilty). I remember one time a girl was asked “What would you do if Rihanna snatched your boyfriend?” She had answered and said: “I’d ask her(Rihanna) what she sees in him and not in me!” While it is easy to laugh about these things in the spirit of banter, it is particularly empowering to have a possible scenario of positive womanhood play out right before us. Most of us will never see a quarter of Rihanna’s financial wealth. But, most of us can mirror Rihanna’s example. Prove to ourselves that we are capable of much more than just popping out babies that we would struggle to care for. While it is apparent that men are the reason unwanted pregnancies exist, it is also true that we women stand to lose significantly more In such situations, which means that we have more incentive to make sure that it doesn’t happen. This of course confers the responsibility of birth control on women, a responsibility that women already groan under. But if we choose to see it as not just responsibility but also power to determine and make conscious, intentional, even selfish decisions for ourselves, we just might break through, and eventually break even. Because the greatest inequality of all is not in the unequal wages, the catcalling or the misogyny barely disguised as chivalry, but in the business of child bearing. The saddling of our souls, bodies and spirits with children that we either dont really want, or are not ready for. The ability of the man to walk away, and then put the totality of our pain, tears, work, love, care, and sacrifices in cash (or not), and the fact at the end of the day, based on many cultures all around the world, the child gets the man's last name, while the mother is erased from history like she was never here. So… even as we rejoice with Rihanna and wait with bated breath for the arrival of this already excessively and world widely loved baby, let’s take a moment to remember that Rihanna did it… she took control and chose, picked and decided the details of her reproductive endeavor. You can do so too, because doing so can make all the difference in the world.